#rantmodus ?

Where do I start?

I feel like I’m making excuses every time I write something. Cause every time I start with apologies for not writing anything for a while, or apologies for not having a workout or not eating healthy.

Makes me feel like I’m not doing well. And yes I might have had a slip up, but it doesn’t mean I can’t get back on track, does it? So weird that I need to convince myself by writing it down in a blog… it’s not that people are judging me about it – at least not personally. I my head they do though. They judge me all the time, again… in my head that’s how it feels.

Yes things have been hectic the last couple of weeks. Since we went to Comic-Con, I’ve been very busy at work. Being stressed out of it. Then there is still the situation with my mom which did not help. The hubby is still in pain and trying a physiotherapist now. My dad needed me to help him out with his pc, and then last week my godmother called me also to help her with a pc problem.

It’s not that I mind doing these things, but it feels like I’m always the one who people need. I’m always the one who gets a phone call when something is needed from me. Also it feels like all of these issues/problems seem to come at me at the same time. It’s difficult for me to maintain positivity sometimes.

So what happens is that I need to drag myself to do a workout. Even when I know it’s good for me! I just feel so empty and without energy sometimes that I just wanna spend some time for myself – doing something that I like. Which is mostly watching a series or gaming.

Is it that bad to take some time for yourself now and then? No don’t think so! But… my mind makes me feel guilty though. It tells me I need to workout, that I need to check my diet. It reminds me daily how longs it’s been since I’ve talked to my dad, or how long it’s been since I promised someone to help them out with a task.

It feels like a vicious circle ⭕️ sometimes.

Today I started my day with a positive mind, a positive look at the week coming. Gonna try and maintain that as much as possible.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has these issues. What do you do? How do you deal with it?

Hugzzz, Steven X

Belgian Comic-Con

Every 6 months we have our own Belgian Comic-Con. It’s full of fans of comics, action heroes, adventure, sci-fi, fantasy, videogames – and so on… Loads of people are all dressed up as their favorite character and running around like they couldn’t care less what you think of them.

It was so good to see that. These people just doing their thing. They are proud of what they do and who they are. They are surrounded by like minded people and feel proud.

For me it’s my second time I’m going. Went the first time 6 months ago, not knowing what to expect. Anxiety kicking in full throttle – feeling very tense and stressed for the first 3-4 hours. It was only in the afternoon that I started to loosen up more.

Seeing that there was no reason for me to feel like that – made me start to enjoy the whole thing. This weekend it was my second Comic-Con, and it felt better. I was stressed, and anxiety kicked in again – but I could calm myself down rather fast. Enjoyed it a lot more then the first time though. Probably cause I was more relaxed.

Had a good walk trough all the stalls, went to a Q&A with Gillian Anderson, saw LOADS of cute hot nerdy men! My day was super 👍🏻 !

Have to say thanks to the hubby though. He is the one who has the deal with it all. He’s also the one who makes me feel better and who bears with me trough these periods. So thanks babe 😘

Hugzzz, Steven X

Easter 🐣

First of all, wanna wish you all a super Easter! Hope you got the eggs you wanted 😉

Ours was ok. We didn’t do much, we both weren’t feeling up to much anyway. We were gonna go for some tapas on Sunday evening. We watched some tv before going out, still needed to get showered and ready, when the hubby realised they close at 9, we decided to do it another time. Typical…

I actually wanna talk about music instead of Easter chocolates, who we all know I have eaten in less then half a day.

Because I used to be a radio DJ, I think I have some knowledge of music. Actually I’m starting up a new fm radio station locally. Where the music of the 70, 80 and 90 will be the main format. I’m born in 1978 and have been brought up with music all round me. Loved the eighties! Always felt that I was born to late, I could of enjoyed those periods in a completely different way 😉

Although I can imagine being gay in the eighties was a different stroke! But that’s a different story all together.

Music… yes! I need music during the whole day. As soon as I enter work, I turn my radio on. Also, I’m the only one at work who has a radio on his desk… all the others just put there earphones in. How social… although when I’m honest, I do it sometimes when I need to focus on a project.

When it comes to music I love a lot of styles. I can go from cheesy pop tunes to house, techno or even some French or Italian classics.

But I have a weakness for disco and the high energy tunes that were created in the days. Basically the gay theme tunes of the old days 😃 of course we all know Donna Summer! Who I woke up with this morning btw. (the tune that is!)

But what about some other great creations in those days, like Trans X – The Flirts – Moses – S-Express. There are so many more… but we hardly hear them on the radio anymore. Why?

I do ask myself that question a lot of times when I listen to some radio stations. Why play what everyone is already playing?

Hugzzz, Steven X