Fallen of the wagon

Isn’t that what they call it? I’ve fallen of so many times already I’ve must of hit my head really hard, cause I seem to forget all the bad feelings and self pity that comes with it.

First of all, I have been doing really good for some months now. Lost weight and feeling good about myself. So… guess that’s a win-win!

Last week was my birthday, and we celebrated it the weekend before with friends and a bbq on Saturday. And on Sunday we had some more people coming over for some pie and coffee. Now having a bbq and some pie doesn’t make you fall of the wagon, but it’s all the little things that accompanies it like wine, beer, crisps, nuts, cheese bites, etc… and the fact that we didn’t touch those things for months made us look like a addict getting back to his drug.

Now also the fact that we bought way to much food for the 2 days was a bad sign. Not only that, but people actually gave me like a birthday box with wine, crisps, nuts and such as a gift. Which was really nice of them, but together with the leftover food we knew we were gonna problems later on.

So the last 2 weeks we have been eating junk food on a regular base. We have had our normal dinners and lunches, so we are back on that. But once we are in the sofa, we bring out the junk food – and that’s because we have it. So we are trying now to get rid of it as soon as possible, so that we can get back on track.

And yes, we could also throw all the bad food out. But sorry, I can’t make that decision. And yes, I know that I sabotage myself because I can’t either throw it out or give it to others. I know that… and it makes it also obvious that I still have a long way to go.

The fact that I was worried in advance about the birthday weekend said it all. I will have to get over the guilty feelings and the regret.

But we are being positive! And I know that I can get back on track! And I will get back!

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