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Where do I start?

I feel like I’m making excuses every time I write something. Cause every time I start with apologies for not writing anything for a while, or apologies for not having a workout or not eating healthy.

Makes me feel like I’m not doing well. And yes I might have had a slip up, but it doesn’t mean I can’t get back on track, does it? So weird that I need to convince myself by writing it down in a blog… it’s not that people are judging me about it – at least not personally. I my head they do though. They judge me all the time, again… in my head that’s how it feels.

Yes things have been hectic the last couple of weeks. Since we went to Comic-Con, I’ve been very busy at work. Being stressed out of it. Then there is still the situation with my mom which did not help. The hubby is still in pain and trying a physiotherapist now. My dad needed me to help him out with his pc, and then last week my godmother called me also to help her with a pc problem.

It’s not that I mind doing these things, but it feels like I’m always the one who people need. I’m always the one who gets a phone call when something is needed from me. Also it feels like all of these issues/problems seem to come at me at the same time. It’s difficult for me to maintain positivity sometimes.

So what happens is that I need to drag myself to do a workout. Even when I know it’s good for me! I just feel so empty and without energy sometimes that I just wanna spend some time for myself – doing something that I like. Which is mostly watching a series or gaming.

Is it that bad to take some time for yourself now and then? No don’t think so! But… my mind makes me feel guilty though. It tells me I need to workout, that I need to check my diet. It reminds me daily how longs it’s been since I’ve talked to my dad, or how long it’s been since I promised someone to help them out with a task.

It feels like a vicious circle ⭕️ sometimes.

Today I started my day with a positive mind, a positive look at the week coming. Gonna try and maintain that as much as possible.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has these issues. What do you do? How do you deal with it?

Hugzzz, Steven X

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